July 12, 2009

July 8, 2009: NOT REALLY!

Dear Children,

Do I always start my letters with expressions of amazement of time quickly passing? It seems so; I just don’t know how to adjust my sense of time to accept the speed of life!

You may notice that I never sent out my family news last week. The date for this letter is really July 12. I never had a chance to return to finish this or catalog all my pictures from my Utah trip; there were just too many other things distracting me this week. So down below, is the letter I started last week.

One of the major distractions was my Girls Camp assignment. With the extra meetings and the work party on Saturday to train the youth leaders to help me, I spent much time preparing the details that may have waited until the night before camp. Thank goodness, I didn’t wait. It was much more than a night’s worth of work since I am trying to break down the project into simple steps for 11-18 year olds to understand. And, you know me and details . . over the top! I am still not finished. I plan to give it one more day and then pack it up. Katie comes the end of this week and her bedroom has been my staging room! Everything needs to be put away. I like that deadline; it is a much anticipated one to have Katie’s visit for the push!

The past couple of weeks I have gained more appreciation for living n Oregon. One day Dad and I didn’t get a chance to walk until after 11:00 at night. It had been a hot day here but it was enjoyable to walk in the cool night air. It felt fresh and I know that many of you live where the night air doesn’t cool like here in Oregon so I was thankful for my blessing.

JULY 8:

This week I will report on my summer vacation in Utah. I had found several wonderful airline deals, even for only $55.00, to travel there but in the end, Dad really wanted to drive. The Honda is very comfortable for a traveling car. In many ways, it was a huge benefit to have the car done there, especially since most of the time we were traveling with car seats for Jenna and Rebekah. We would have been borrowing Katie’s car with only two doors and that just does not make for a happy back anymore! So, it is a good thing that the Honda was there.

Another benefit of driving is the wonderful amount of uninterrupted time to spend with someone. Dad and I even read a book while driving down: Behind Every Good Man. It is a great, fast read, “read-with –your-spouse” book as it encourages lots of great dialogue and couples always need lots of dialogue. But, it is also filled with lots of good interpersonal ideas and approaches. One of my favorite quotes in it was, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it.” A little effort and hard work usually makes things better in any situation.

Although arriving later than I had hoped, the first stop in Utah was to stop at Heidi and Bill’s home and see Ainsley Cate. She has the tiniest of features, so much how I remembered her older sister. She has large bright eyes and when awake, is very alert and watchful of all that goes on about her. In the week that I was there, I thought that she changed a lot.

It added to the fun to arrive at Grandma and Grandpa Bitter’s home since Katie is living there for the summer term. I am glad that she in back from St. Louis. I know that it is hard for her not to be on such a busy and exciting schedule, especially busy with the things that she loves (number one being the Cardinal sports program). She is taking only one class right now so she was available for many of the adventures with Jenna and Rebekah and they loved that.

It was lucky to be in Utah to hear one of the cousins, Ben Bitter, speak before leaving on his mission to Brazil; his talk was excellent. In between his sacrament talk in Alpine and his open house that afternoon, Katie and I drove to Daybreak to gather the girls and their things for the big sleepover at Grandma Bee’s. Jenna and Rebekah stayed down in Orem with us Sunday through Wednesday to allow Heidi and Bill some quiet time with their newborn.

Jenna and Rebekah kept things busy. They love being at the Bitter’s with the extra grandparent time and the backyard fun. Monday, though, we traveled back up to Daybreak to go to the Oquirrh Temple open house. It was a great experience and of course, the temple is gorgeous inside and out. Grandma and Grandpa Bitter and Katie went with Dad and I and the girls. My favorite part of the tour was the sealing room experience where a couple had been assigned to speak about their own sealing experience. Heidi told us ahead of time to look through the mirrors in the sealing room. As is the case in most temples, the mirrors are set on opposite walls to allow you to see how your reflection goes on forever. These mirrors are set with a slight tilt to see your reflections move heavenward. I also enjoyed the film that is shown before the tour where Elder Holland, while speaking about families being sealed forever says, “Heaven wouldn’t be heaven without our spouse and children.”

Dad and I went to Heidi’s home afterwards so I could go shopping with her for fabric for the girls’ bedroom windows. Dad took Jenna and Rebekah to the splash pool that they love. Heidi wanted room darkening curtains since the sun is so bright in the early morning hours in the girls’ bedrooms. Our first task was to find fabric that could be both utilitarian for that purpose but appropriately cute for a girls’ bedroom décor. We spent lots of time searching and asking questions and came home actually empty handed. The girls had a blast with Dad at the splash pool much longer than I expected that they would last. Their swimming adventure ended only with a promised dinner bribe at their choice, Chick-filet (I don’t know how to spell it). Heidi and I met them there and even more of their energy was expended in the toy structure there. I was amazed that they were like the Energizer Bunny. Dad and I let them keep playing while Heidi took Ainsley Cate home. Dad and I decided it would be a great plan to bathe and pajama them at Heidi’s so they would fall asleep on the 40 minute car ride back to Orem. Not so, they sang and laughed most of the way home! But, they are very easy to put to bed. In fact, one night, after a story and songs, I asked Jenna if she wanted another song or book and she said she just wanted to go to bed! We wore each other out!

One of my favorite memories from my Utah trip was one morning when Jenna woke up extra early. She really was not prepared to greet the day so I lay down with her on my bed downstairs. We lay down as she asked lots of questions and talked quietly non stop to allow her more time to really wake up. It reminded me of how her mother was slow to wake up as a young teenager.

Katie, Dad and I spent much of the next afternoon with Alisha and Julie and all of the Young grandchildren at a great RV park by Utah Lake. Aunt Julie and Uncle Randy own a very nice camper so they took the grandchildren camping only 10 minutes from home; a great idea! They were having such fun. Julie and Randy had Jaime and Kyle’s children for nine days while they were at a family reunion in Mexico with the Woodward parents and siblings (without any grandchildren). Jenna and Rebekah just loved playing with all the cousins. The park had a great pool facility and Katie became a great “aunt” to ALL the little children in the pool! There again, the girls outlasted any amount of time I believed that they would want to play. That night we had time to play my new Book of Mormon Go Fish game. Katie, Dad and I were in stitches laughing with the girls as we listened to little two year old Jenna say, “Do you have a Go Fish card” after she couldn’t find the requested Moroni or King Noah cards for another player.

Wednesday was another class day for Katie so only Dad and I traveled up to Daybreak so Dad could take the girls to the “lake park” where they could play on the beach there. It also has a very nice playground. I was determined to help Heidi get fabric and start sewing the curtains that very afternoon. We did some more measuring and figuring and determined to use a special room darkening fabric, similar to that used in hotel drapes. Since part of our time together was spent picking up Honey from the vet, we also decided to simplify our project by starting with the baby’s room (Jenna’s room right now). It was easier to match a previously purchased valance for that room than to choose between all the available choices that both Heidi and Rebekah might like (Plus, there are more windows in Rebekah’s room!). That window would be a test window to see if the fabric combination worked. We were successful in finding great fabric but not in time to sew since Dad and I needed to head home to Orem early that evening. After Dad had the two girls for those two days, he said, “When does a mom go to the bathroom?”

Dad and I needed to be back in Orem to go with Grandma and Grandpa to a viewing for Les Arbon, the husband of Grandma’s niece Linda (Dad’s Aunt Jean Miller’s daughter). Thankfully, even though most of that family lives in Grantsville, by Tooele, that viewing was in Salt Lake. There were so many people there to support their family that we waited for over an hour in the line. Even before we reached the family, some other family members told Grandma to come around the back way. We visited with lots of relatives; it was a good event.

I had taken Heidi's fabric home to Orem in hopes to start her project for her. After we returned from the viewing, I started sewing and couldn’t bear to stop. I knew I didn’t have to get up early with the girls that next morning, since we left them at home, so I was able to sew through the wee hours of the morning. The trouble was, when I finally went to bed, my mind started racing with other things that I hoped to do to prepare for the arrival of Morty, Aaron and Adrianne that next night from Las Vegas. I was hoping that Heidi wouldn’t be too disappointed that I finished her project instead of showing her how to do it. I know that she would have preferred to do it herself with my help, but I didn’t see time for that to happen the rest of the week. This might have not been the ideal time for her to try and learn how to sew!

Dad went on a long bike ride to Utah Lake where he visited again with Julie and Randy and then followed the river back to Bridal View Falls. He said it was so beautiful. He had wanted to go on the bike ride in the afternoon while Katie and I went to Daybreak to babysit but the weather was getting too warm for afternoon bike rides. At the same time, I tried to finish up a weed project I started at Grandma’s. Katie and I headed back to Daybreak later that morning so Heidi could leave all three girls home for her dentist appointment. I secretly hoped that we could surprise her by hanging the curtains while she was gone but I couldn’t get Ainsley to settle into a long nap. Katie and I planned to pick up Morty later that afternoon so we went to a movie, My Sister’s Keeper, which Katie wanted to see there in Daybreak. They have a beautiful movie theater where you even pick your seat when you buy your ticket. The movie was a great one with lots of levels of learning about a family coping with a terminal illness but take tissue if you go. It is a very teary movie.

Upon picking up Morty, we tried to maneuver through the rush hour traffic as best as possible to get back to Heidi’s home for Morty to see Ainsley and to help her bring the girls down for a dinner at Five Guys in Orem. Dad and I had never been there but part of the family, especially Katie, loves it. We even ran into Michael Bitter there. It wasn’t long after we returned when Aaron and Adrianne arrived by car from Las Vegas. They got an earlier start than expected; Adrianne’s work was finished since they have been giving the warehouse overtime with all the work that needed to be done by the weekend.

It was so wonderful that so many family members were able to travel to Utah for Ainsley’s blessing day. Thank you so much for being so supportive. I missed not being able to have all our children there but it is understandable that it is quite impossible to gather everyone as much as I would love it. One of the night’s I stayed up brain storming with several of you, a “sibling only” family reunion, like Jaime and Kyle (only shorter), so our young parents could enjoy a good amount of sibling time.

I always plan on going to Cabela’s but never have time so this trip I determined to make that happen. That was our planned rendezvous to pick up Jenna and Rebekah since they were spending the night again on Friday so they could go to the Fourth of July parade in Provo with Dad and me early the next morning. Aaron, Adrianne Dad and I met Heidi at Cabela’s in Lehi right before the fish feeding time. After watching the feeding of the fish (not that exciting) Heidi invited all of us to lunch at her place. While there, Dad hung the curtains and Adrianne went with Heidi to get the girls’ hair cut before going back to Orem to play.

The parade was packed. My plan was to watch towards the end of the route so Dad and I didn’t have to get there so early. We were very lucky to find a very small patch of grass to watch the parade! It started with a very loud beginning. It seemed that every fire truck within miles was in the parade with their sirens blaring. Adrianne remarked that she doubted that anyone was still asleep in Provo! The girls loved the parade and Bill and Heidi joined us with Ainsley later in the morning. After the parade, we had lots of family over for a barbecue in the back yard. It felt like we have been eating all weekend! In the evening we caught the end of the BYU soccer game and watched the Stadium of Fire fireworks on blankets from the soccer field. It reminded me of lying on blankets to watch the fireworks, as a child, in some park that I do not remember with our neighbors, the Wilsons.

Sunday was Ainsley Cate’s blessing day. Lots of family members were there at Heidi’s ward. We filled the first three benches and that did not include their friends even. It was great to hear both Heidi and Bill have a chance to bear their testimonies after the blessing and witness the joy and peace that comes to a new mother when her husband is worthy to bless his own child. The afternoon was filled with more relatives and more food at Grandma and Grandpa Bitter’s home. It is a good thing that we held a dinner there; we about 40 people and had lots of little children playing in their backyard.

Since Dad and I were leaving right before Heidi’s real birthday, I planned to also celebrate that Sunday afternoon. Heidi’s request was her favorite brand of vanilla ice cream with strawberries. Grandma Bitter bought some very clever candles that were strung together so all would light from the first one (It reminded me of Fallas in Valencia, Spain where I watched them string firecrackers in many continuous circles in the main plaza. Once one was lit, they went off for such a long time, since there were so many.). Since Heidi loves ice cream and we had such cute candles, I made a strawberry ice cream cake. It was a hot day so I waited until just before the birthday song to take it out of the downstairs freezer. Boy, was that a mistake! No one could cut through it! The knife was just left sticking out and it looked like “Sword in the Stone.” I need a picture from whomever got that shot! Thank goodness we could serve the dessert of strawberries and ice cream as Heidi initially requested. It was delicious once we could cut it; about an hour later!

It is good to go away but also good to come home; the trip home was smooth sailing. I love sleeping in my own bed; so do my muscles. And, we came home to very mild weather so the cool at night feels wonderful. Disappointedly, we learned that the sprinklers did not work while we were away and there was a heat wave here, I think we only lost one plant though! The garden has grown amazingly. I spent the first morning picking raspberries. Many were fried by the heat and lack of watering so I picked them all off. They smelled like raspberry pie so I made the neighbors a pie for feeding Sammy for the last week. The Whisenant’s and the Jorgensen’s’ shared the duties so I had two pies to make. Since I ended up not having enough raspberries, I added blueberries to the last one and made two small tarts for Dad and I. It turned out surprisingly great.

I also am still watering Ramona’s yard (until her home sells) so I picked some of their raspberries and made a couple batches of jam. My freezer is just about empty of jam this year; that is a first for a long time since I don’t get many jam eaters at home as often. I will make some new jam, especially marionberry and boysenberry, when Katie comes next weekend. She agreed to help me pick berries. I miss the days of picking berries as a family when you were small.

I wish I could spend the next couple of days just relaxing in the garden as I save it from my vacation week’s weeds but I have to get some things prepared for a camp meeting and training session later this week. It seems that I am wishing I could do something else with my time so often; I need to just love what I am doing at the moment.

I have spent some time on the trip back, thinking about who I really am beyond the tasks that I can accomplish and the “work horse” that people visual that I am. I wish to be much more than a product of my projects and I intend to try and change that because I don’t feel comfortable with the “Lori who does this and that” instead of the “Lori who has worth just because she is Lori”. I hope you all know that I love you for who you are and not what you can “accomplish.” I do notice and appreciate your wonderful characteristics and yes, even your funny or odd quirks! I LOVE YOU and love being around you. I wish I could remember to express that more often to each of you. Although I do love working alongside or playing with all of you, I love the quiet moments when we can capture a moment and relax together; I just wish they were more often.

I love you. Love, Mom

Scott had a great day yesterday. Their LDS church group had invited the head of all the LDS Department of Corrections groups to visit them from Salt Lake. He did, with his wife, so yesterday was like a special ward conference Scott said. He loved the fact that the ward leaders also brought their wives and every one of them was able to bear their testimony. He said that he enjoyed hearing how Brother and Sister Stephens were making a difference to members incarcerated in prisons all over. He listened with anticipation at their description of the program for researching family history was working in Utah State systems and how it had been proven that family history work had helped to change prisoner’s lives. If you think about it, our ancestors are able to help us and that would be especially true to those who have limited other family influence such as prisoners.

As far as the progress on Scott’s case, he received a letter from his attorney this week that the final decision on his direct appeal was denied and the paperwork would finally be finished. We knew that direct appeal was not really a viable option from his first attorney, Scott’s studies, and my hope-dashed conversations with the appellate attorney over a year ago. But, we are learning that everything must happen in a certain order and with much patience for the overloaded and cumbersome legal system. As soon as Scott receives the final paperwork on direct appeal, he can apply for a new attorney and start working on his post conviction case which might have more chances. Dad and I enjoyed reading a paper that Scott sent to us of his yearly review in which it is written that he will earn a 20% reduction of his sentence due to his good prison behavior if his case law is ever changed. That’s five years off! Right now that is a moot point but I believe that the climate in Oregon is slowly changing towards the ridiculous voter mandates. In all the material I read from an organization that Dad and I are a part of, it seems that some voters are starting to realize the error in Oregon’s laws. We did have a small victory last election period when we were able to defeat an even tougher penalty law (although we had to campaign for and convince all of our friends to vote for “a lesser of two evils” reform). I am convinced that that small victory would not have happened had many people not begun to realize the awful mess we made with Measure 11 several years ago. So, things are looking hopeful; not in the near future but with lots of patience.

In the meantime, Scott is making the best of his situation. He is writing to Kyre more often, even has had some good phone conversations with her. He also has more open dialogue with Adam which is great for both of them. Adam writes some very sweet letters to Scott and always tells him that he feels his Dad is with him in particular situations. I so appreciate Aunt Lynn’s allowance of this.

Please consider sending a note to Scott when you think about him; he would love that. Again, we talked about the love, and even thirst, he has to hear about the regular and even mundane realities of our everyday life since prison is not real everyday life. He has enjoyed it when he gets printed programs and pamphlets from family members and shares them with others in the prison. Dad sent him the sacrament meeting program from Ben Bitter’s farewell and an Oquirrh Mountain Temple pamphlet. He said that he loves seeing things from regular life and shows them to inmates who have never experienced things like a temple or organized religion.